Seeing your little ones sprout into grown-ups can be a delightful experience. It’s like watching your gardening skills come to fruition, but instead of flowers and veggies, you get independent, capable human beings! But let’s not forget, it’s not always sunshine and rainbows. Many young adults are in a limbo where they don’t feel quite adult-y yet. They may still lean on you for support, both financially and emotionally. Fortunately, fret not, as there are a few nifty tricks that can help make this transition a tad smoother.
It is not uncommon to want your child to have more than you did when you were growing up, and it can be tempting to want to give them everything they need. Doing little things, like cleaning up after them and cooking everything for them, might feel like a great way to show how much you care. But even if you have the money or time to support them in this way, you could be stopping them from learning how to do these things themselves. It is okay to help when they are stuck, but always meeting their needs won’t help them learn how to be more independent.
Instead, look for ways to empower your offspring so they feel like they can solve problems on their own. Teaching them resilience is a much better skill for them to learn than for you to do their laundry and dishes. One way you can empower your child is by helping them cover the cost of their college education. This can help them get a better paying job later. If you own a home, one option to get needed funds is to take out a HELOC, which could make it easier for you to put them through school.
Help Them Ease Off Your Financial Support
You have paid for your child’s every need for many years, whether that’s food, clothing, or housing, and when your child wanted a new item, you likely also put up with their pleading. It is not uncommon for this financial support to continue, even after your child has become an adult. Parents may help their kids with car payments or their phone bill. But at some point, your child will need to take responsibility for their money, including every expense they currently have.
The trick here is to give your young adult a timeframe to transition paying more of their own way. This ensures they know what they can expect and when they will be expected to take over their own bills. Tell them you are not taking this away to be a mean parent. Instead, it is designed to help your child grow into a more independent adult. Tell them you are giving them enough time to plan so they can determine what steps need to be taken at what time. Your child may need to seek out a roommate so they can live on their own and afford rent, or they may need to look for a better job so they can start building up their savings. Teach them to make money with Amazon Influencer Program!
Allow Them to Make Mistakes
In the past, you were responsible for keeping your child safe, and preventing them from making mistakes prevented them from getting hurt. But now that your child is becoming an adult, you will need to step back and allow them to develop into their own person. It might be tempting to jump in whenever you see them making a mistake, but this does more harm than good. You might notice that they are making the wrong sorts of friends or see they seem to be spending their money too freely.
It is hard to stand by without getting involved, especially since you have enough life experience to see where these sorts of decisions can go wrong. It’s important to remember that this time of their life is a chance for them to form their identities and explore themselves. When they try these things for themselves, they will learn a lot more than if you simply tell them what can go wrong.
Offer Advice the Right Way
While you should allow your child to make mistakes, that doesn’t mean you can never offer advice. The trick is to do it the right way, without judging them. In the past, you simply told them what they should do, and they were supposed to do it. But things are different for an adult child, and their independence should be increasing.
Think about how you would give advice to a close friend. You would likely listen to them to get the whole story and then give suggestions on what worked from your own experience. For your own child, you may find it’s better for you to act as a sounding board to offer advice, helping them come to their own conclusions. Know that they may not do what you suggest, so it is important to respect whatever decision they choose to make.
Getting Ready to Let Go
It can be challenging to let go of your child, especially since you raised them, and they have been in your life for such a long time now. While you need to let them go, you can still embrace a new relationship with them as a friend. Be happy with the person they have become and what they have chosen to do in life.
Boundaries are important to have a healthy relationship with your offspring. This goes both ways because both of you need to have boundaries and be respectful of each other. If you don’t set them, you may have feelings of resentment. When your child does not have boundaries, they might avoid you.
Your child has already become the person they will be once they become an adult, but even if they do not call you as often as you would likely, they probably still want you to approve of them. Respecting their time and space can help you show that you approve of your child. When you can connect without causing conflict, you can enjoy your relationship